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  • You can be who you want to be
    Make up rules to your own game
    But I quit that long ago
    Cause when I grew, you stayed the same

    And you can play the victim
    Tell them all I just went crazy
    But we know, we both know
    Your memory is not that hazy

    I was falling down, I was crying out
    Waving my flag for a hand to lend
    Sent my signal loud, you didn’t hear a sound
    I thought I’d sent an SOS to a friend
    But you passed me by
    And you told them lies
    You kicked me hard when I was down

    So let’s set it straight, what happened
    When I was drowning, you chose not to see
    But still you had a lot to say about it
    But you said it to everyone but me

    You tried to tear me down while I kept your secrets
    Standing still while I tried to see my own dreams through
    So you love misery doesn’t mean that I should too
    Jealousy is a bad look on you

    I was falling down, I was crying out
    Waving my flag for a hand to lend
    Sent my signal loud, you didn’t hear a sound
    I thought I’d sent an SOS to a friend
    But you passed me by
    And you told them lies
    You kicked me hard when I was down

    You think you play a good guy well
    But I know all the things you’ve said
    You tell yourself you’re happy this way
    But only you have to live inside your head

    I was falling down, I was crying out
    Waving my flag for a hand to lend
    Sent my signal loud, you didn’t hear a sound
    I thought I’d sent an SOS to a friend
    But you passed me by
    And you told them lies

    YouTube Link

  • All of this time walking in daydream
    Only to find a world that’s not what it seems

    Woke up to light that blinded and burned
    I flew to close to the sun, wings on fire, lesson learned

    Fell from the sky, I don’t think you thought I would drown
    But your soul was the sea that pulled me all the way down

    There must be more than a pinpoint of love that could be mine
    But your star burned so bright that I let it fill the entire sky

    It must be possible to swim, there must be a way to not fall in
    I won’t stay faithful to something I have no faith in
    It must be possible not to drown, to keep my head about me when you’re around
    It must be that you are not the best part of me

    Standing on the edge of something I can’t explain
    Knowing that if I jump, you won’t break my fall, you won’t ease the pain
    What is this thing? What are we doing? Your heart is not mine
    What is love worth when it happens at the wrong time?

    There must be more than a pinpoint of love that could be mine
    But your star burned so bright that I let it fill the entire sky

    It must be possible to swim, there must be a way to not fall in
    I won’t stay faithful to something I have no faith in
    It must be possible not to drown, to keep my head about me when you’re around
    It must be that you are not the best part of me

    I can’t shake you off
    Will I hit rock bottom or find the shore?
    Trying to keep my head up for air
    Will I dive into you or can I swim some more?
    Let me stay in the dream

    There must be more to life than waiting for someone like you
    But your heart burned so bright that you made it so easy to do

    It must be possible to swim, there must be a way to not fall in

    I won’t stay faithful to something I have no faith in
    It must be possible not to drown, to keep my head about me when you’re around
    It must be that you are not the best part of me

    YouTube Link

  • I stood in a hallway of my design
    Your face in rows of frames along each side
    Like walking the plank surrounded by my mistake
    What was I thinking to paint you that way?

    I light the match that will burn this place down to the ground
    Let the flames fly wild and free
    Halo of ashes as they rain down on me
    Patron saint of not letting go
    Queen in her crown of told you so
    I’ll be as petty as I please

    I fell from a cliff, or maybe I jumped
    If I thought you were there calling from down below that would be enough to jump
    Like flying, like dying
    Like finding an empty space in your place

    I light the match that will burn this place down to the ground
    Let the flames fly wild and free
    Halo of ashes as they rain down on me
    Patron saint of not letting go
    Queen in her crown of told you so
    I’ll be as petty as I please
    I’ll be as needy as I need

    And all the time, the drama is at play
    With or without you
    Cause I knew you’d never stay
    I’m on fire, you’re in the front row
    Queen of self-sabotage
    The star of my own show

    I light the match that will burn this place down to the ground
    Let the flames fly wild and free
    Halo of ashes as they rain down on me
    Patron saint of not letting go
    Queen in her crown of told you so
    I’ll be as petty as I please
    I’ll be as needy as I need

    YouTube Link

  • Everyday my memory is quicksand
    Might write it on the bedroom wall
    or the back of my hand

    You walked beside me, my witness
    No life on Earth doesn’t crave this

    When I needed a sign, you waved your flag
    But I was colorblind
    And now I see your red
    Do you see my flag is white?

    I need to be shown so many signs, bright and wide,
    That there’s an exit and a reason to go from this world of our design

    You wrote me letters in a coded language
    I was the only one with a key
    And sometimes in silence, and sometimes in distance
    I can feel your soul move through me

    When I needed a sign, you waved your flag
    But I was colorblind
    And now I see your red
    Do you see my flag is white?

    And I’m waving it high
    If you need a sign, here’s mine
    All the language, all the colors, all our world
    Gone with a sigh

    I need to be shown so many signs
    To see the exit and to see the real you
    To see the world that we designed was a lie

  • Gratitude as deep as the sea
    Long as the list of things he taught to me

    Nature’s beauty, the mystery of the stars
    The magical places where his thoughts are

    Wisdom grows year after year
    He’s a well-read mind and a musical ear

    Inner world that never stops moving
    Inner soundtrack that never stops grooving

    He’s a liberal heart and an untamed soul
    A creative mind and a student of the cosmos
    A curious nature, spirit wild and free
    And I’m the lucky one cause he gave it all to me

    Earth traveler, world wanderer
    A star gazer and an amateur astronomer
    A free thinker, a peace seeker
    He’d like to see more love in this world cause

    He’s a liberal heart and an untamed soul
    A creative mind and a student of the cosmos
    A curious nature, spirit wild and free
    And I’m the lucky one cause he gave it all to me

    YouTube Link

  • And the rain comes down
    Thought I would need you here
    But the only sound
    Is my mind crystal clear

    Thought this would be so hard
    To build a life without you
    But now I’m standing on my own two feet
    No one can tell me what to do

    I was always the one with stars in my eyes
    And you met me halfway and then backed away
    And that’s why they all died
    I know that you will never ever forget me
    Now that I’m gone

    I thought you knew me, I guess you don’t
    And if you do, then forget it all
    Just let me be a face without a name
    Don’t write a message, don’t call

    Thought this would hurt like hell
    To lose my lover and my closest friend
    But the storm has taught me well
    I never break because I bend

    I was always the one with stars in my eyes
    And you met me halfway and then backed away
    And that’s why they all died
    I know that you will never ever forget me
    Now that I’m gone

    YouTube Link

  • You paint that smile on your face
    You find some words that might be your saving grace
    Thought you hung the moon
    And you let it go down too soon

    Boy, are you kidding me?
    So many secrets they shouldn’t see
    That you’ve shown
    Now they know
    And you hide while I’m exposed
    Hope it hurts when you fall from your pedestal

    Loving you was a curse
    What’s done is done, but you keep making it worse
    Thought you were the sun, thought you were the whole sky
    But the fire died

    Boy, are you kidding me?
    So many secrets you didn’t want them to see
    Now they do
    ‘Cause you’re a fool
    And you hide while I’m see-through
    Hope it hurts when you fall from your pedestal

    You paint that smile on your face
    Don’t you know they all know you’re a disgrace?

    Boy, are you kidding me?
    So many secrets that they shouldn’t see
    That you’ve shown
    Now they know
    And you hide while I’m exposed
    Hope it hurts when you fall from your pedestal

    YouTube Link

  • Two years, you don’t get another try
    One lie echoes across time
    You were always so blind
    You were never very kind

    And I don’t know why you show
    Up in my mind some times

    If love is a sea, you wouldn’t touch a drop
    Doesn’t hate get boring?
    Now I’ve shed you like a skin
    I’ll never miss you again
    All that’s left is a story

    And it’s not even a good one
    Another drama for the shelf

    One word you wouldn’t say
    Is sorry so hard you’d let me walk away?
    All of this time you’ll spend on your fights
    Anything to prove you’re always right

    And I don’t know why I show
    Up to the fight sometimes

    If love is a sea, you wouldn’t touch a drop
    Doesn’t hate get boring?
    Now I’ve shed you like a skin
    I’ll never miss you again
    All that’s left is a story

    And it’s not even a good one
    Another drama for the shelf

    YouTube Link

  • Disguised in overly simplified language as a fairy tale about a princess hiding away in her garden, this song is actually about the tendency to self-isolate that often accompanies Depression and suicidal ideation. Our princess is hiding away behind her castle walls with a fortress of flowers around her, avoiding the world even though loneliness is what's killing her. Burning the garden to the ground and making a big sound is a reference to breaking free from the allure of isolation and asking for help. Obviously easier said than done.

    No one knows where her lonely grows
    She waters it like a garden, holds it close like a rose

    No one sees when she falls to her knees
    She thinks maybe sadness is the only friend I need

    What is left to live for when living is always alone?
    And no four walls in this world could ever feel like home

    No one’s coming to find you if you don’t make a sound
    Nobody knows that you need to hear that you’re needed around
    No one can read your mind
    So come on and give someone a sign
    Don’t curl up all alone in your garden of loneliness
    She’s not your friend

    No one knows how deep these roots can go
    And so she lies in her garden watching sadness grow

    around and inside her ‘til loneliness defines her
    She curls up small and silent, suffering, who cares who finds her

    What is left of living when death seems so serene?
    Rather slip into an ever-long dream than make a scene
    But you know that

    No one’s coming to find you if you don’t make a sound
    Nobody knows that you need to hear that you’re needed around
    No one can read your mind
    So come on and give yourself some time
    To wake up alone without loneliness
    Filling your bed, filling your head

    Wake up, clear the flowers from your eyes
    You know you already know their beauty’s a disguise
    Wake up, burn that garden to the ground
    Run out of the ashes and make a big big sound

    Burn it down, burn it down
    Lay your flowers on the ground
    Don’t curl up alone in your garden
    It’s not the end for you

    YouTube link

  • You were a monster under my bed
    Every nightmare that wakes me up is you taking up space inside my head

    You were a black hole, you spun me inside out
    Every dream I had with you was laced with worry and doubt

    You were a hurricane, you blew me away
    Every moment spent with you was water spinning down the drain

    You were the darkness, lust and beauty and sin
    I’m tired of running away, open my eyes to let the

    Light in, let the light in
    Help me see with clarity
    What it is to be free
    To sleep in peace

    You were an overdose, too much too soon
    Every time I wake up scared you’re the shadow in the room

    You were the wrong way, and I drove right in
    After the wreckage clears, open my eyes to let the

    Light in, let the light in
    Help me see with clarity
    What it is to be free
    To sleep in peace

  • All the things you’ll never see
    Overwhelming, overtaking me
    And all the things I’ll never say
    Hope they find their way to you someday

    And I don’t blame you, it was fate who was a liar
    and I’m not mad at you, I’m too sad to feed that fire

    The snow comes down, and I remember
    Every detail about you and the last time I saw you in December
    God I miss you
    Who knew that life would play me for such a fool
    But now the snow covers everything

    Every day it hits me over again
    When the phone is dead silent and you leave me on read
    Only a coward would just go dark
    You know your silence can’t put out our spark

    And I blame you for taking me on this ride
    Now I spend my days grieving the loss of someone who hasn’t even died

    And the snow comes down, and I remember
    Every detail about you and how you left me in December
    God I miss you
    Who knew that life would play me for such a fool
    And now the snow covers everything

    You thought this would be easy for me
    You told me “you’ll be fine”
    Can’t believe it never crossed your mind
    That I might want you to be all of mine all of the time

    And now the place where we once grew
    is cold and snow white
    And you, you’re always haunting me
    I can’t get a silent night

    And the snow comes down, and I remember
    Everything about you and how you left me in December
    I miss you so much
    Life has made me her fool
    And now the snow covers everything

    YouTube Link

  • How was I to know
    Love would leave real slow
    She hid it well
    I never could tell
    That she was fading
    Every day
    We’d pretend we were okay
    What a lie
    Between you and I

    What was left to say?
    What role to play?
    I forgot my lines so easily
    A little at a time, the words they left me

    And so our love took her last breath
    We were the ones who brought her to death
    Maybe it’s best

    What is love if she’s not a crush?
    I want to chase her but she’ll come and go in a rush
    What is love if she’s not a flirt?
    She will heal you then she’ll cut you where it hurts
    What is love if she’s not for us?

    What is left to prove?
    What more can we lose?
    Love is a foe
    A sadist who made us watch her come and go

    We didn’t try hard enough
    To see it through
    But in the end I loved love
    More than I loved you

    What is love if she’s not a crush?
    I want to chase her but she’ll come and go in a rush
    What is love if she’s not a flirt?
    She will heal you then she’ll cut you where it hurts
    What is love if she’s not for us?

    YouTube Link

  • You are the sky, I am the sea
    And the sun is on fire where we meet
    You are a star, I am the moon
    And you light me up, who knew
    That you would be the part of me
    That would finally finally be free

    All of the world is in love with you
    And I’m starting to think I might be too
    Space and time will sing your name
    My heart is open and I’m singing the same
    You are my horizon, the place that I call home

    You are the wind, I am a tree
    And I feel every breath moving through me
    And if I’m fire, you are the air
    And I breathe just because you are there
    You are the ocean, I am the land
    You are sunlight on every grain of sand

    All of the world is in love with you
    And I’m starting to think I might be too
    Space and time will sing your name
    My heart is open and I’m singing the same
    You are my horizon, the place that I call home

    And they will ask how we learned to fly
    A thousand clouds will part where the earth meets sky
    You are my horizon, the place that I call home

  • Baby, don’t talk tonight
    There’s nothing left to fight about anymore
    I’ve already been beaten down
    My stomach’s in knots, my hearts on the floor

    You’re an expert at putting words in my mouth
    But you never hear anything that actually comes out
    I’m tired, you always make this tough
    I know I never asked you for much

    But you couldn’t even meet me halfway
    Remember that when you hear yourself say
    You lost me, you lost me
    You lost me, you lost me
    You gave me up

    I hope you truly wanted me gone
    Cause God knows you had it coming all along
    All of your logic is slanted
    The only truth I know is you took me for granted

    Someday you’ll see the thing that you’ve done
    When you weigh your losses to what little you’ve won

    I’m sorry that I ever fell for you
    Cause now I have to hear myself telling you

    You lost me, you lost me, and you don’t care if I’m found
    You lost me, Baby you, you let me so far down

    Your eyes have looked right through me
    For weeks that I forgot to count
    Maybe you thought your poker face would fool me
    But that vacancy’s the reason that I gotta get you out

    And when I am finally myself again
    And we meet up, I’ll have nothing to say
    And you can play Mr. Apathy, while your heart is screaming
    that’s the one that got away

    You lost me, you lost me
    Just like you knew you would
    You lost me
    You lost me for good

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